25 Books Young Men Need to Read

We don’t mean books aimed at young men so much as books concerned with issues faced by young men. Because, let’s face it, Hatchet is a great read, but likely won’t stir up necessary conversations after about where the youth are headed these days. And with so many looming societal ills such as bullying, violence, the stigmatization of mental illness, and the marginalization of LGBTQ, minority, and underprivileged individuals pockmarking their experiences, they need to receive an education about how to quell them all as soon as possible. Try handing the young men in your life (unless you’re a young man yourself, in which case you need to head to the library with your friends in tow) some of these reads and launch them on a path toward a life of respect, character, and compassion.

1. Guyland: The Perilous World where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel:

   Growing up male comes with its own unique set of struggles, many of which stigmatize admissions of genuine weakness (like mental illness) as “feminine” and “soft” and reduce female friends and peers to disposable, interchangeable sex objects. Masculinity expert Michael Kimmel analyzes the origins of these dangerous social memes and offers up a few solutions about how to create more healthy spaces for young men to grow and thrive harmoniously with one another.

2. Get By: A Survival Guide for Black Gay Youth by Jonathan W. Jones:

   As minorities along racial and sexuality lines, LGBTQ youth of African descent find themselves doubly marginalized, so Jonathan W. Jones packs his instruction manual with literally everything they need to know to live, including self-defense, safe sex and other healthy habits, supportive organizations, and more. It also delves into black gay history and holds up some of the best role models the young men of today can look up to and try to emulate, making the book a fascinating read beyond its target demographic.

3. He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut, and 49 other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti:

   Yes, there’s “woman” in the title there, but you lads reading this ought not run away screaming with the fear you’ll suddenly wake up one morning and just love shopping and shoes and Pinkberry froyo (because that won’t happen). Let it teach you some lessons about arbitrary gender roles and the little misogynies and misandries behind daily life instead; then work hard to try and overthrow them, because such mindsets only cause needless divisions within society.

4. Dude, You’re a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School by C.J. Pascoe:

   In this fascinating inquiry, Berkeley postdoc C.J. Pascoe deconstructs notions of sexuality and gender as they pertain to high school bullying and perceptions; specifically, the demonization of gay, “feminine” males. What this means for developing healthy perspectives on varying sexual preferences and gender identities should be clear, so hopefully reading this book will change a few minds and maybe even save a few lives lost to marginalization in the process.

5. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison:

   This semi-autobiographical novel, published before the American Civil Rights Movement, provides one of the most insightful analyses of black masculinity’s marginalized history ever published. While some things have changed around since 1952, it remains an essential read regarding intersections between race, class, and gender whose influence still stretches on into today to some extent.

6. Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity by Robert Jensen:

   We’re not including Robert Jensen’s inquiry into heterosexual male porn consumption because we want to snatch away your Internet connection and make commercialized sexytimes illegal; rather, we advocate critical thinking once that special time in every young man’s life (you know the one) finally happens. Specifically, building the ability to parse fantasy from reality and developing realistic sexual expectations about yourself and your partners, no matter your gender and gender identity preferences.

7. Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming for Women by Holly Kearl:

   This one’s for all you heterosexual and bisexual boys out there: Women, for the most part, don’t enjoy being catcalled, whistled at, groped, or sexually harassed while out in public; in fact, many feel endangered when this happens. Everyone, male and female, deserves to go about their lives safely, and the only sociological study conducted on street harassment drives home this point and calls for everyone to start showing some respect!

8. From Boys to Men: Gay Men Write about Growing Up edited by Ted Gideonse and Robert Williams:

   Gay and bisexual male youth confused and lonely about their place in a world that continues to push their needs to the sidelines should absolutely pick up this anthology and hopefully feel a little less isolated along sexuality lines. These coming out stories cover a wide range of experiences and might very well inspire readers to start embracing themselves and explore their thoughts and emotions once a safe and loving environment has been established.

9. Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America by Barbara Ehrenreich:

   Honestly, the information on the dangerous power of positive thinking provided here holds sway over young men and women alike; but considering how males are unfortunately expected to constantly swallow their own mental and emotional pain, Barbara Ehrenreich’s research holds particular relevance. Thinking happy thoughts is great and to be encouraged, though Americans tend to consider it a cure-all for serious medical conditions involving trauma, depression, anxiety, and other problems requiring a healthcare professional to alleviate.

10. The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood edited by Larry Bean, James Houghton, and Tom Matlack:

    An extremely (and impressively) diverse array of American men, covering different industries, racial and cultural backgrounds, classes, and sexual orientations, ruminate on what masculinity means to them. Rather than keeping stereotypes a-flowin’, they portray the male experience as inherently human — at once strong, vulnerable, positive, negative, etc. Shocking stuff, right?

11. Boys Cry Too by John Mark Clubb:

    Discussions of rape and sexual assault these days tend to feminize survivorhood, but in reality men suffer from these grossly dehumanizing crimes as well and deserve just as many chances to heal and reach out for help. In order to start busting at this unfair trend, John Mark Clubb courageously opens up about the trauma of childhood sexual abuse and encourages other men to follow suit and provide love and support rather than suffering in silence.

12. We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity by bell hooks:

    Although known primarily as a feminist scholar, bell hooks shares some deep, necessary insight on the role race plays in shaping masculinity, focusing largely on the internalization of institutionalized racism (yes, racism is still a thing that exists) among black males. She holds both the white hegemony as well as black leadership responsible for many of the social issues within the community, issuing a call to action to shatter the stereotypes and create a truly equitable America.

13. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine:

    So many popular resources tout physiological differences in the male and female brains, we tend to interpret the science as a justification for banning little boys from playing with My Little Ponies and girls with GI Joes; the world won’t end if they trade toys, by the way! As a psychologist intimately acquainted with neuroscience, Cordelia Fine sets about to bust some myths that allow these rather silly mindsets to keep on perpetuating needless stigmas and stereotypes.

14. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen:

    Because of these constantly cycling myths about women and men and how they relate to one another (or don’t), disparities regarding communication between them occur; it’s nobody’s fault, really, just a social construct that likely won’t get dismantled anytime soon. Until that happens, this guide helps smooth out the nasty little misunderstandings that crop up in friend, family, and romantic relationships involving both ladies and gentlemen.

15. Houdini, Tarzan, and the Perfect Man: The White Male Body and the Challenge of Modernity in America by John F. Kasson:

    White males undeniably enjoy considerable social privilege in the United States often denied their minority, female, and minority female peers, but that doesn’t mean they don’t struggle with their own identity and objectification issues on occasion. For example, the fetishization thrust upon late 19th, early 20th century adventurer-heroes and the mounting expectation that their admirers follow suit and build up strong beefcake bodies if they hope to truly succeed in life — pressures which, to some extent, continue on into the future.

16. Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels by Justin Vivian Bond:

    Justin Vivian Bond prefers identifying as neither masculine nor feminine and stands as an excellent role model for youth who feel either caught between the binary or don’t much care to affix any sort of label onto themselves. This memoir covers v’s experiences growing up and learning how to navigate a nonbinary mind and body in a binary world with witty humor and human warmth.

17. The Dignity of Working Men: Morality and the Boundaries of Race, Class, and Immigration by Michele Lamont:

    Race and class heavily influence how we approach and process the concept of masculinity, whether we realize it or not, and discussions of sloughing off stigmas and creating an equitable playing field must absolutely include these factors into the discussion. Michele Lamont’s research into working class American men of different racial backgrounds provides many of the necessary vantage points to kick start conversations amongst the young and old alike.

18. Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex, and Power edited by Shira Tarrant:

    Multiple men, the only constant being their self-identification as feminists, explore what it means to live as the privileged gender in a society where rape and sexual assault survivors (primarily women) do not always receive the proper support. As these intelligent analyses reveal, there’s absolutely nothing emasculating about standing up for victims of all types and fighting the social mores allowing violence to take place.

19. Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack:

    OK, so the book’s marketed as a primer for parents, but nothing says young men should ignore an opportunity to peruse sociological and psychological information relevant to themselves and their peers. Especially since the read in question involves smashing up the misconceptions about masculinity that nurture destructive, even violent, behaviors; recognizing them means curbing the damage in yourself and your friends alike.

20. It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living edited by Terry Miller and Dan Savage:

    The It Gets Better Campaign reaches out to LGBTQ youth suffering beneath bullying (or worse) from family and friends as a result of their gender identity or sexuality, and this book carries on its main thrust in print form. Every contributor pitched in a story of hope when life overwhelmed them with pain and despair with the hopes of preventing self-mutilation, suicide, addiction, and other harmful behaviors many kids attempt out of desperate depression.

21. The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men can Help by Jackson Katz:

    The aforementioned “misconceptions about masculinity,” especially those involving emotional suppression and displays of aggression, pose the very real risk that others end up victimized once those unchecked little boys grow up. Hurting others comes in all shapes and sizes and preys upon the very same demographic, but this book explores its overlaps with domestic and sexual violence against women and, of course, what needs doing to prevent further traumas and losses.

22. Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Year Disguised as a Man by Norah Vincent:

    When it comes to negative, damaging stereotypes, women don’t exactly hold a monopoly, as journalist Norah Vincent discovered when she spent a year as “Ned” and discovered how males behaved in one another’s company. As a result, she gained a right fair amount of sympathy for the often unaddressed, almost always arbitrary expectations behind contemporary masculinity and brings them to light so the dudely masses start feeling less trapped.

23. Pornland: How Porn has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines:

    If Getting Off didn’t work, see if Pornland provides viable advice and provocative insight about pornography’s influence over contemporary sexuality. Because so much (though by no means all) of the relevant media targets young males unfamiliar with the tenets of real human sex and relationships, it’s integral to understand what makes a man and what makes a prepackaged fantasy man.

24. Fist Stick Knife Gun: A Personal History of Violence by Geoffery Canada:

    Violence and the threat of violence permeates contemporary American masculinity, no matter the location, though the stakes and risks are significantly higher in more urban, impoverished areas where the youth’s desperation, isolation, and lack of resources and opportunities result in boiling rage. Geoffery Canada’s memoir frankly depicts how things escalate within these environments and provides a key perspective on the psychosocial and socioeconomic factors that make horrific situations possible.

25. Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality by Anne Fausto-Sterling:

    Society (all the “Western” ones, anyway) tends to approach gender as a male/female binary construct, but physiology has a few different ideas, as Brown University biology professor and philosopher Anne Fausto-Sterling points out. Her provocative, supported theories regarding a five-gender model challenge readers’ perceptions about arbitrary roles and what personhood, masculinity, femininity, two-spiritedness, and androgyny really entail.