Follow us on Twitter!The Finishing School, by Muriel Spark
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September 2nd, 2011
Were such a thing physically possible, I would enjoy it if The Finishing School's major characters piled into a rusty bus with broken brakes. And then watch them jettison over the side of the Grand Canyon. Also, they're on fire.
Look, I am all about unpleasant protagonists. I still consider A Confederacy of Dunces the single greatest novel ever written. Ever. No matter the time period, no matter the universe. But at least the central grotesques down John Kennedy Toole way sport some degree of nuance and relatability. Plus, there's that one scene where Ignatius Reilly explores his special, confusing grown-up feelings about his childhood dog. Slays me every time. But Muriel Spark isn't on trial for not writing A Confederacy of Dunces II: Return of the Comuniss. She's on trial because her novel about a sketchy finishing school "almost unknown in distinctive educational circles" (8) fails at establishing anything even one iota compelling.
Obviously, that's only my opinion. I'm just some punk kid with a blog, graduate degree in English and big, loud Italian-American mouth.
If nothing else, Spark at least keeps the plot mercifully simple. There's this traveling "finishing school for both sexes and mixed nationalities" (2). And it's run by a troubled married couple. And it caters to "teenage children after their schooldays and before their universities or their marriage and careers" (52). One of these students, Chris, is apparently a literary prodigy whose novel stirs up significant interest. Owner and teacher Rowland, himself an aspiring author, grows increasingly jealous over his alleged grasshopper's success. Then some self-destructive stuff happens. All excellent starting points when crafting an engaging narrative. Unfortunately, all I managed to get was just a narrative.
It's Spark's prose. That's pretty much why I'm going full bore Brock Sampson all up in here.
Look, I understand that she's intentionally trying to be all minimalist and whatnot. I can get behind that. Excessively purple prose frequently renders me catatonic with white-hot rage. The problem is, her sparseness violates so many show, don't tell rules, The Finishing School reads completely limp and lifeless. Again, I am all for shattering literary conventions. But Spark's writing style lays everything out so bluntly and explicitly, readers glean no real emotion or connection.
For example…"Nina now perceived that Rowland's jealousy was an obsession" (75). That's fine and everything, but her husband's crippling envy only ends up relayed through straight-up statements – rarely any solid, meaty actions or insights. Rowland himself declares, "'I know I'm obsessed with Chris, but I want my obsession. So does he'" (133). And really, it's rather boring. Sure, the teacher's seething and frustration occasionally manifest themselves via actions. The destructive duo's ultimate fate receives a teasing or two, but no real emotional connect happens, because SERIOUSLY. Without any sort of hint and increasing tension – or even something resulting in shock! – I seriously just don't care. They're all empty people, but lacking overarching melancholic, sympathetic or even vitriolic touches that would make me want to know more. Really, the whole book is just chapter after chapter essentially touting, "Oh, hey. Rowland's all jealous and stuff." If it even climaxes, it does so with a soft peep rather than wall-shattering screams. Hard to tell, considering how events and feelings receive little ratcheting upwards as the story progresses. For the most part, The Finishing School spoon-feeds audiences theme and character, zippy little airplane noises and all. Everything's as subtle and nuanced as a battle-axe coated in broken glass, nails and hungry, rabid honey badgers.
Such blatancy definitely has its place in the literary sphere. And maybe if Spark's minimalistic concepts played out in her sentence structure, she'd craft something more immediate and interesting. Instead, we get, "Along the passage was the study, the floor piled high with the evidence of nine students, in several subjects of their daily exercises, which eventually he would catch up with" (20). And, for all you preposition buffs out there, "Opal Gross, who was rather feeling the benefit of being of a ruined family, in that offers of help came pouring towards her, was going on a luxury cruise of the Aegean, the Dardanelles and the Greek islands on the yacht of a family friend" (38). So yeah.
TL;DR version: I guess her style doesn't jive with my tastes. Maybe 10 years from now I'll be writing about how much I just loves me some Muriel Spark and plastering her face all over my closet or something. But as of September 2, 2011, The Finishing School left me largely unsatisfied.
Bibliographic Information
Spark, Muriel. The Finishing School. New York: Doubleday, 2004.
The Finishing School was suggested by Laura, so big thanks to her! If you have any suggestions for future book reviews, feel free to contact me at mnudo (at) oedb (dot) org! I'm emphasizing reads about college and college life, so try to stick with those particular themes. Thanks!
