Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, by Kathleen A. Bogle

August 19th, 2011

by Meredith Nudo

No, readers. Hooking Up isn't a practicum. If you're looking for fluffy-hatted misogynists urging you to insult the ladies, it's best you mosey over elsewhere. But if you're a foaming-at-the-mouth social science nerd like myself, Kathleen A. Bogle shares some pioneering research on the hookup culture phenomenon. She only pulled from a very small sample, comprised almost entirely of white, cisgendered heterosexuals from one state and one religious school each, so by her own admission her findings aren't to be taken as universal. Instead, she encourages other sociologists to build upon what she's already published – especially since "media reports often portray an extreme version of hooking up" (2) that "do not add clarity to the discussion" (3). The more research dissecting the hookup in all its myriad forms, the more scientists can challenge popular assumptions and depictions.

Bogle blends interviews and even a brief history of sexual mores and dating to relay her findings, which are almost entirely fascinating, though occasionally dry. What struck me the most was the serious stratification along gender lines. Although the sexual revolution and women's movement completely altered the way Americans perceived gettin' it on, female participants still end up "stigmatized for their behavior within the hookup scene" (113). If they rack up too many partners, the gossip mill enjoys slapping labels like "'campus slut'" (113) on them, which in turn "can affect behavior by altering one's sense of identity and thereby ultimately creating a self-fulfilling prophecy" (113). Suffice to say, men with equal or more partners than their feminine peers receive accolades for their conquests rather than shame. The double standard really isn't anything new, and it's going to take another wave or two of serious memetic shifts to change the rhetoric, and therefore perceptions, of female sexuality.

And speaking of giving in to social pressures and stereotypes, the author notes how men and women approach the idea of hooking up – whether one's interpretation of "the ambiguous nature of the term" (27) involves kissing, intercourse or any of the activities in between. The former generally enjoys the scene as a means of acquiring physical satisfaction, while the latter typically view it as a precursor to a dating or relationship arrangement. How much of this stems from socialization and history rather than some innate biological imperative is always open to debate, but I heavily lean towards the former explanation. As Bogle points out, residue from previous eras' "'sexual scripts'" (8) continue shaping how college kids approach one another in such situations. Although hooking up remains the dominant campus courtship protocol, the author's exploration of the calling and dating that came before reveals just how much past perceptions and practices impacted the present. Many of the interviews conducted shed light on some remarkable displays of self-unawareness. Both male and female students openly discussed the old Studs vs. Sluts double standard, but never seemed conscious that they themselves were responsible for perpetuating it. Nor could they articulate exactly why it exists and what needs to be done to even everything out. As it exists now, the hookup script presented here "is not working for the majority of women" (125) and "men are in a position of power" (125) where they "control the intensity of relationships" (125). But many individuals, no matter their gender, feel forced into the milieu, regardless of whether or not they think it effective or healthy. So many perceive hooking up as their only option towards getting what they want, they willingly wade through the misery and manipulation clinging to hope that things might improve sometime soon.

For those who find this discrepancy disconcerting, however, the post-graduation crowd seems to practice something far more equitable. Because "the environmental factors that make hooking up on campus [walking-friendly atmosphere, prevalence and proximity of singles, heightened trust, parties and, yes, alcohol] are no longer in place" (132), both men and women turn more towards traditional dating. No matter their gender, they believe safety, a generally heightened interest in serious relationships and marriage and "the postcollege environment['s]…logistical difficulties" (133) renders such a script more appealing than its more libertine predecessor.

But because so many variations exist, no amount of painstaking studies will ever truly explain individual behaviors and perceptions. Sociological studies such as Hooking Up, however narrow, do say some very provocative things about different demographics. On a macro level, it makes perfect sense. As situations grow more micro, everything gets progressively personalized. So while I consider this book insightful and interesting, students definitely shouldn't use it as an advice guide. Every partner or potential partner you encounter will be different, even if only in subtle ways. Just about the only way to truly gauge someone's intentions is paying close attention to body language and behaviors, and even then they can surprise you in pleasant or unpleasant ways. Open, honest and respectful communication, as always, remains key to any sort of hookup, date, relationship or marriage.

Bibliographic Information

Bogle, Kathleen A. Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus. New York: New York University Press, 2008.

If you have any suggestions for future book reviews, feel free to contact me at mnudo (at) oedb (dot) org! I'm emphasizing reads about college and college life, so try to stick with those particular themes. Thanks!

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